Did the title grab your attention? If it did, then it worked! NickMom really didn’t helped me realize I’m not a drunk, rather, NickMom helped me realize that a drink on Thanksgiving is warranted and necessary.
Being a parent is stressful enough. Add in Thanksgiving and a trip to the in-laws, and things escalate rather quickly! NickMom helped me realize I’m not a drunk, only a seasonal drunk, and that’s totally acceptable. I don’t handle stress very well. My crazy kids and hectic schedule keep me going non-stop, and my husband wonders why I’m a scrooge. When the holidays roll around, my inner scrooge emerges and I’m on countdown for it all to end. I’m that person that takes the tree down the day after Christmas; that’s how happy I am that it’s all over. Last year turned out a little different than I had planned. Before you continue reading this, you might want to grab for a glass of wine, and don’t feel guilty about drinking during the day, tis the season.
A little bit of this wine (above) will get me singing Amazing Grace to the Gilligan’s Island theme song, no lie. And in a house full of very religious people, that’s not a good idea.
In short, my mother-in-law found the hidden bottle of wine that I had tried to stash in my son’s diaper bag. Then, it was discovered that I didn’t have the nonalcoholic wine in my glass like everyone else was drinking, instead, I had the real stuff, the kind that gets you drunk. I was so embarrassed! I turned every shade of red and felt my heart beating in my throat. Thank God for my husband jumping in to defend me. Just for me to get through a dinner at my in-laws, I used to need a drink or a Xanax. The alcohol was easier to come by, so I went with that. It’s not fair to ask a stressed, frazzled, sleep-deprived momma to go without her wine during a crazy family gathering on Thanksgiving. That’s just wrong, and mean.
When Jasmine saw how embarrassed I was she yelled out, “My mommy needs her wine; it’s her happy juice.” I couldn’t believe I had been caught. I had a sudden flashback to the time I was kicked out of my prom for smelling of liquor.
In all fairness, I shouldn’t have tried to sneak booze. I should have just gotten wasted before heading over. The nonalcoholic wine they serve at my in-laws just doesn’t cut it. What’s the use of nonalcoholic wine? It’s like a big tease: such a waste of time and effort. Also, I learned another valuable lesson. I shouldn’t mention anything around my daughter that I don’t want repeated, and I no longer call my wine my happy juice.
NickMom.com is making motherhood funnier over at NickMom on Facebook. Have you been able to laugh at yourself, or motherhood? If you can’t laugh at yourself then there is something seriously wrong with you. There are lots of funny things to make you feel a little better about the craziness of being a parent at NickMom.com. Just remember, you’re not alone!