The constant parade of ovulation predictor kits, pregnancy tests, and maxi pads while struggling to become pregnant can bring with the ma sense of disbelief and deep sadness. As the months roll by, many couples choose to seek a doctor’s help in order to conceive. But even then, it can feel like you’ve just changed your methods without achieving any new results. IUIs and IVFs are undertaken to no avail, month after month – it can be traumatic.
But if you have been struggling to conceive, even if you have tried IVF, it’s important to know that there are still other roads to parenthood – egg donation provides hope where there was none.
You can still build your dream family!
Egg Related Infertility
About 40% of infertility cases are attributed to issues with the female partner. Sometimes it is the eggs themselves that are not able to produce a healthy pregnancy. Eggs can become unconducive to conception for many reasons, and while it can be a heartbreaking discovery, it is important for the woman and her partner to understand that they’ve done nothing wrong.
While grieving this kind of diagnosis is important, it is also nice to know that there are other options for building your family. Adoption and surrogacy are wonderful options for many couples, and should certainly be discussed with your doctor, but there is one element missing from that family building equation that many couples have a hard time giving up: the pregnancy itself.
For some, the idea of giving up the opportunity of a pregnancy, something they have been chasing for so long, can be difficult to accept. But with the option of donor egg IVF, you may not have to choose.
Imagine feeling your baby move inside you, experiencing birth to hold the child you have been nurturing for 9 long months, and having the ability to breastfeed your new baby. All of these things are still possible for mothers who use donor eggs to conceive.
Choosing a Donor
Once a couple has decided to pursue IVF with a donor egg, the search for a suitable donor can begin.
Typically, a couple will work with their fertility clinic or a third party agency to be matched with a donor who meets the criteria the couple deems most important. All donors listed with donor egg banks will have completed a full medical evaluation and undergone screening for many genetically heritable diseases, so you don’t have to include those stipulations in your search criteria.
Many couples decide that it’s important that the donor resembles the intended mother physically, others decide to search for non-physical characteristics that are important to them. You can include as many traits in your donor criteria as you want. Depending on the specifications of the couple,the search for a donor can take from one to a few months.
Fresh Vs Frozen
The search will also differ based on whether the couple wishes to use fresh or frozen donor eggs in their IVF cycle. Frozen eggs expedite the process as there is no need to sync up the donor and recipient’s menstrual cycles. The couple will also not have to worry about traveling to where the donor is for treatment, or covering the donor’s cost to travel to them. With added convenience and clinics reporting success rates averaging 50% with frozen donor eggs, which is similar to that of fresh donor cycles, many couples choose the frozen option.
Emotions to Consider
Whether you choose to use fresh or frozen eggs, there will be many emotions to consider throughout this process.
Infertility itself causes a roller coaster of emotions; adding in the knowledge that you must give up the genetic link to your child can bring up even more. Grief, anxiety, and anger are all normal reactions when considering the choice to pursue donor egg IVF. Luckily, choosing to use donor eggs also offers joy and hope to prospective parents because it allows the couple the ability to become pregnant when they had previously been out of options for carrying their own baby.
With the careful selection of an egg donor and the help of a trusted doctor, it is possible for you to experience pregnancy and the birth of your own child.
Even when not using your own eggs in the IVF process, you will know that your baby was grown with love inside your own body, and that you have given them the best start to life possible.
Once you are pregnant, you can begin to heal from the trauma of infertility and begin down your new road as parents. Gazing into your child’s face, it will all have been worth it.