Statistics show that a great percentage of marriages in the country today end in divorce. Although divorce is not the end result of a marriage, it happens a lot and when it does it is best to know how to handle it. Divorce can be particularly nerve wrecking to the family when children are involved. As a recently divorced father or in the process of finalizing a divorce here are the three main areas to check. With the right divorce settlement and pointers your life can turn out better than before.

Dealing with the divorce
Image Courtesy of www.dailymail.co.uk
Image Courtesy of www.dailymail.co.uk

Divorce is always painful whether you are the party that initiates it or not, whether it is the best decision or not. Men unlike women are not upfront about their feelings and emotions, and keeping these things in launches one into a period of personal turmoil and anguish. When dealing with emotions it is important for one to admit that it is okay to hurt and maybe some space would be good. Unlike women who will talk it out and cry over brunch with friends men have no such coping mechanism. Therefore it is important to find your own mechanism. When a surge of the feelings emerge find what cools you down be it the gym or a walk.

Importantly also remember that divorce is a legal process. As much as it is hurting and disrupting the family, you need to get proper legal representation. A good divorce lawyer ensures that you get a fair trial and avoid further hurt. It also gives you fair chance to get custody over your children and fair split of property. A lawyer unlike you, will be objective and the whole process devoid of any emotional history with the other party.

Dealing with the kids
Image Courtesy of www.huffingtonpost.com
Image Courtesy of www.huffingtonpost.com

In divorce the children and most affected as the ongoing battle has nothing to do with them. As their father, you need to ensure that you

  • Avoid lavishing them with gifts to win affection or to make up for time not spent together. It is not a game of which parent is best and children need both parents.
  • Do not divorce your children as well. No matter how little custody or how much you get, your children do not cease being your own. Your presence in their life should be felt and time should be spent with them.
  • Talk to them about the divorce. It is not a topic to avoid. They know what is going on. Make them understand what is happening to the family.
  • Divorce does not mean your children need therapy. Do not throw them to the psychiatrist when not necessary
Getting back into the game
Image Courtesy of dailyurbanista.com
Image Courtesy of dailyurbanista.com

After the pain, the separation and the change of routine comes the time of acceptance and moving on. It is during this time that one realizes they want to get back into the dating scene. After years of marriage it is not what it used to be which can be quite intimidating. Another factor to consider is that you have children.

  • If your children are of age make sure you have this talk with them. You could as well hint at it to test the water on their views or reactions.
  • Do not lie about your age, status or the fact you have kids when meeting new possible partners.
  • Identify what you want from the relationship to avoid miscommunication or wrong expectations. Are you dating simply to socialize r are you looking for a long term relationship?

Most important tip for divorced dads is that divorce is not the end, but a new beginning.

Author

Hey there, I’m Tiffany! I’m a work-at-home mom of two rambunctious children (Jasmine, 9 + Sean II, 5) and recently widowed at just 35 years old. I've remarried and currently live right outside of Baton Rouge in Denham Springs, Louisiana with two adoring cats and a dog. Let's connect on Twitter @fabulousmomblog.

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