If you want to have a child but find that no matter how often you have sex, you can’t get pregnant then you might think that the situation is hopeless, but often it’s not how often you have sex, but when you have it during the month.

Fertility is all about discovering your most fertile days. These are the days when sexual intercourse will most likely result in pregnancy. But figuring out the days you are most likely to succeed is not easy. Getting pregnant is about timing. Determining your fertile days is based on understanding the cycles of ovulation.

One thing to keep in mind is to avoid a goal-setting mindset as this will lead you to feel anxious about getting results. It works better to relax and have an easy-going attitude. It’s estimated that you have a 20 percent probability of getting pregnant and it can take up to six months or more to conceive. Focusing on fast results, wondering how long it will take to get pregnant will only stress you out.

How to Keep Track of Your Cycles

Here are 3 guidelines on what to track and how to go about it:

First, begin by keeping track of all your periods. Notice if your menstrual cycles are regular and how many days tend to pass between periods. An easy way to do this is to write Day One on your calendar when you have your next period. Keep track for 3 months to be able to get a good idea about your cycle. You want to track its length and regularity. Although the average is 28 days, the range is from 23 all the way to 35 days. What’s more, the cycle can vary in its length from one month to another.

Second, get a better idea of the days you ovulate. You should have sex during this time because that’s when the ovaries release an egg that will move to the fallopian tube. At this point, you might wonder how many eggs women have? Although there is an ovarian reserve, a fixed amount of eggs you can have before menopause at about age 50, the number of eggs women have on average is 500 eggs–so you have a very good chance of getting pregnant by understanding your ovulation cycle. One good way to know when ovulation will occur is to monitor your temperature. It will increase a little during ovulation. By taking your temperature each day for a month, you will then get a good idea when you’re about to start ovulation. Be aware that the temperature change is subtle, about a half a degree in a day.

Third, rearrange your work or life schedule so that you can have sex during the small window of time during ovulation. You should have sex before you ovulate, not after, and, in fact, if you have sex for five days before ovulation, you should be able to continue on the day of your ovulation, too. Fertility specialists specify five days because that’s how long a sperm can survive in a woman’s body. Meanwhile, the life of the egg is 24 hours at the most. Incidentally, it’s a myth that too much sex will deplete a man’s ability to ejaculate. Since testes are able to always able to manufacture sperm, it’s possible to have sex daily.

What if Nothing Works?

If after you try all three steps suggested here, nothing happens, then you and your partner may need to see a doctor to see if there are any medical issues. Generally, if you are in your thirties, have intercourse every month of the year, and have sex based on your fertility calendar, then you should be able to get pregnant.

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