Most of the time, stepfamilies are founded on the rubbles of divorce, abandonment, and loss. These scars are the reason why acceptance, love, and trust are not instantaneous the moment a stepfamily is formed. Being a stepmother is probably, the most difficult parenting role in our society.
They occupy the part of being a mother in the household, but they are not the mother of the children. There are rules established by the circumstances of a stepfamily, and it can help you learn your rightful place in a loving and just family.
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Treat Your Stepchildren as Your Own
See them as an equal of your own child, if you have one. Spend quality time and join activities that both you and your stepchild will enjoy. Show interest in their personality and appreciate their individuality. They can showcase their individuality in the clothes they wear. The best way to be on their good side is to give them presents that can be symbolic to the kids’ aspirations.
Establish house rules together with your husband. This will show the kids that you and your husband are a team. It creates a sense of mutual respect.
Have a Support Group
It can be lonely sometimes to feel unaccepted in a family you want to belong in. According to statistics, remarried families have a higher chance of getting divorced. Take care of yourself before you can look after others. Seeking a support system that can relate to your problems can be quite important to the success of your relationship.
Take Care of Your Relationship
A stepfamily life can be more challenging than a biological family life. To endure the struggles of family life, it is best to spend quality time with your husband. This is a great way to invigorate important priority in your life.
Create Your Own Family Tradition
Family traditions are an inclusive activity held every holiday but it can also make stepparents feel out of place. To prevent the dreadful feeling of being excluded, it is best to set your own family tradition. You can do this by hosting a celebration for the whole extended family.
Don’t Insist of Being Called Mom
A stepmother cannot go overboard and step over the boundaries of its stepfamily. Never insist on being called mom. Stepmothers should focus more on being more like an aunt to their stepchildren.
Don’t Discipline Your Stepchild
Not at least until you have earned his/her respect. If you start disciplining your stepchild in the early years of your stepfamily, it is more likely that you will be labeled as the villain of the house.
Don’t Set Expectations
The pressure to establish a stepmother-stepchild relationship can only lead to disappointment. Proving yourself to be kind, compassionate, and respectful is enough. According to experts, a bond among stepfamily starts by around 3 years.
Don’t Speak Negatively About the Biological Parents
You cannot judge the kind of parenting the biological parents is using. If your stepchild speaks badly about their parents, never give an affirmative answer. Be on the neutral side.